Just because I'm wandering it doesn't mean I'm lost
Saturday, December 03, 2005
A Winter Haiku
The Monkey Carvings at Nikko
はつ しぐれ さる も こみの を ほしげ なり
In first winter rain Monkeys look like they also want coats
Basho
4 comments:
Anonymous
said...
After reading your haiku, I asked myself if there was a comparison, a contrast or an association between the mental images and if this relationship was clear and understandable and did it contain a kigo?
My minds eye said yes, both rain and coats remind me of cold. And the monkeys are calculating and intelligent, yet mischievous, vain, and restless… just like the beginning of winter.
But seeing the picture of the Monkey Carvings at Nikko made me ponder even further. I considered the fact that a monkey actually has a fur coat. And that made me wonder about the summer time… wouldn’t they be hot? That inspired the following:
Three monkeys: Each entertaining no evil, all wishing for shorts and t-shirts
StuMonkey さん: I really like the literary analysis and thought you have expressed here. Your academic reputation is truly well founded and deserved.
I would point out that while different types of haiku exist, and you have chosen not to publish the Japanese translation of your virtuous poem, the English does not follow the 5-7-5 syllable format that Basho used so well.
Accordingly, I will humbly offer my own English haiku about monkeys and summer:
Au*gust blaz*ing heat Ice*cream drips slow*ly down cone Mon*key wants a lick
You are 100% correct and it is true that the traditional elements of a haiku consist of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables. To the Japanese, this convention is mandatory. But in the English language, which has variation in the length of syllables, this can sometimes be difficult.
Writing a haiku requires learning, experience, balance and above all, the ability to follow rules. But the master haiku Poet Matsuo Basho had a very interesting motto: "Learn the rules; and then forget them."
And so, I subscribe to the “Free Form” haiku preferred by coffee shop beatniks, hippies, and those of us who generally reject established society and indulge in our own exotic self-expression. However, after reviewing my first posting I came to realize that I focused too much on the hear no, see no, speak no evil aspect and the poem was much too abstract.
I submit for your consideration the following doggerel about monkeys and summer (in an attempt at the time-honored 5-7-5):
I see the pri*mates Drip*ping sweat from Junes sols*tice Mon*keys crave A/C
I compliment you on the imagery of your haiku as well as the use of seasonal element and irony. To be truthful, I did not know that Monkeys had sweat glands and had to look it up on the internet to verify it. Your breadth of academic knowledge is indeed impressive.
4 comments:
After reading your haiku, I asked myself if there was a comparison, a contrast or an association between the mental images and if this relationship was clear and understandable and did it contain a kigo?
My minds eye said yes, both rain and coats remind me of cold. And the monkeys are calculating and intelligent, yet mischievous, vain, and restless… just like the beginning of winter.
But seeing the picture of the Monkey Carvings at Nikko made me ponder even further. I considered the fact that a monkey actually has a fur coat. And that made me wonder about the summer time… wouldn’t they be hot? That inspired the following:
Three monkeys:
Each entertaining no evil,
all wishing for shorts and t-shirts
StuMonkey
StuMonkey さん: I really like the literary analysis and thought you have expressed here. Your academic reputation is truly well founded and deserved.
I would point out that while different types of haiku exist, and you have chosen not to publish the Japanese translation of your virtuous poem, the English does not follow the 5-7-5 syllable format that Basho used so well.
Accordingly, I will humbly offer my own English haiku about monkeys and summer:
Au*gust blaz*ing heat
Ice*cream drips slow*ly down cone
Mon*key wants a lick
フランク
You are 100% correct and it is true that the traditional elements of a haiku consist of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables. To the Japanese, this convention is mandatory. But in the English language, which has variation in the length of syllables, this can sometimes be difficult.
Writing a haiku requires learning, experience, balance and above all, the ability to follow rules. But the master haiku Poet Matsuo Basho had a very interesting motto: "Learn the rules; and then forget them."
And so, I subscribe to the “Free Form” haiku preferred by coffee shop beatniks, hippies, and those of us who generally reject established society and indulge in our own exotic self-expression. However, after reviewing my first posting I came to realize that I focused too much on the hear no, see no, speak no evil aspect and the poem was much too abstract.
I submit for your consideration the following doggerel about monkeys and summer (in an attempt at the time-honored 5-7-5):
I see the pri*mates
Drip*ping sweat from Junes sols*tice
Mon*keys crave A/C
StuMonkey
StuMonkey さま
I compliment you on the imagery of your haiku as well as the use of seasonal element and irony. To be truthful, I did not know that Monkeys had sweat glands and had to look it up on the internet to verify it. Your breadth of academic knowledge is indeed impressive.
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